Someone once said a person should have ideas and projects not to be shared with others. Once you begin to reveal them to people they lose a certain vitality for you. Have you ever shared a personal goal with someone only to become disappointed at their lack of enthusiasm about it? What was important in your own mind suddenly seems diminished in some way. Some people may even offer some negative comments that are supposedly meant to provide words of caution, but feel more like disbelief you can accomplish the goal set for yourself.
Once I shared a painting I was working on to a friend. It was large and I had a deadline. He told me I was dreaming if I thought I could finish this large piece in time. Suddenly I was defending my ability to accomplish this. Afterward, I could have moved forward with a “I’ll just have to show him” attitude, but there was a lingering feeling that this friend was not exactly in my corner.
I did finish the piece in time. I kept painting just as I normally did and was happy with the result, as was my client. I learned to be careful when taking persons into confidence. Those people I trust are supportive and willing to give me their honest views if I ask. But I don’t ask too soon. There is a place in the progress of a painting when I feel I can see the outcome and know I can finish it no matter what.
My daughters are among those I can talk to about my work. Especially if I ask them a more specific question. They take a few moments to think. They don’t begin tossing out quick responses and I know they have “good eyes” for art. Guess I raised them that way, in part.
When I listen to a musical composition my brother is working on, I like to ask him questions. This allows him to reveal things about his creative process, and I learn about why he chose certain instruments to be played for sections of the piece over others. Sometimes I will tell him what vision came into my mind as I was listening. I feel a bit honored when he will let me listen to a piece of music before it is entirely finished. Maybe he knows I will tread softly during the sharing of his process.
Do you “vet” people before sharing your goals or process with them?
Hue Bliss: Color & Art notes by Karen Gillis Taylor 